March 25th

You feel like playing a video game on the SMES (Super Mary Entertainment System). What's this? Monday March 25th? Sounds exciting. Alright let's go.

Crap, the cartridge won't load. Alright take it out, blow on it, smack the system, and load again. Ah, there we go. Let's play this multilevel party game.

Level one booze it up. You and your brother along with the help of your friend Kate decide to go buy proper sustenance for the party. In order to pass you must have at least three different kinds of alcohol type. Ready, set go!

You make a good start by entering the supermarket but are hastily delayed by university friends. Press B to perform greeting. Press A to perform greeting again. Press X A R L A to perform greeting several more times.

Time is ticking, you end the conversation and run to the liquor aisle. Decisions decisions. Ah ha you spot a bottle of Jack Daniels. Can you afford it? No. Putting the bottle back you move aisles to discover a lane of beer. This is better. The dilemma of choice hits once more. Ultimately you grab the Heineken case! Good choice audience. Next stop, mixers. Kate has returned with orange juice and some sort of heavy bottle of liquor (MareBear forgot the name). Bonus points for friend assistance. Peter spots red bull not far away. Jager bombs are mandatory tonight, two cans of red bull are nabbed. The clock is ticking on you! Quickly you run to wine cellar dodging people and shoving children out of the way. You make it and discover that Kate has already selected a bottle. Wondrous! You have scored wicked 2000 points. Fade as checkout commences.

Level two Disney playlists and chips. Time to set up the party area. Fold blankets and cover bed in cheap sheets. Protection has been granted to sleeping area, nice job. Kate knocks and brings forth more blankets. Now the powwow setup is coming together. Peter scours iTunes for Disney but does not realize that you have made a playlist for the occasion. Press Z to inform Pete.

"Pete there's a playlist on the left I just jumbled a few Disney albums together so you might-"

"Shut it I got it."

Fifty points for sibling assistance! Pete and Kate are becoming bored with waiting for other guests. Quickly use your host skills to entertain! Mary uses bowl of chips. Boredom is defeated. Winning music.

Level three circle of death. Everyone has arrived and is drinking except for Fabian and Jaimie. You respect their life choices and do not force them to drink alcohol. You do force them to play circle of death with cola instead. The game is explained (use google if you are curious) and card values written down. You use crappy Tabac cards because you know what happens when people drink and use playing cards. Responsible foresight earns fifty-five MareBear points. Throughout the game rules are created and suddenly Fabian appears. He offers you his hand in mateship. You eagerly accept because it enables you to drink more. Hidden Binge level! Music all around, fun is never bound, no one yet has browned. Bonus round over. Unlocked drunk vision.

Level four Disney blatherings. Try to avoid falling out of the chair as you play and sing along to Disney songs. "I can go the Distance" merits thirty rad points. Drunk singing causes ears to bleed. You have lost one life.

Level five anger. You take two steps forward and are met with a spinning room and random battle music. A wild Crous Guard appears. The Guard uses pointless threats to dissuade Mary's guests. Mary runs over the door but Guard's influence has been placed upon her friends, they slow her down. Finally MareBear reverses the effect and reaches the hallway. MareBear uses shout, "Hey jackass you wanna go? I'm being too fucking loud for you? Come ‘ere and I'll fix the problem by giving you a screw driver to the eardrum." It was super effective. The Guard ran away.

Level six memory fading. Final Lap! MareBear drifts ahead of Pete but is met with an oil spill from Lucia. Mary spins out of control and crashes off the course. She quickly drops into 6th place and finds herself far from the competition. No no, wrong way. Luckily Mary has a turbo power second level up in reserve. She let's go of the accelerator on the boost and presses Z right after causing a Mach Five Turbo Blast. She speeds ahead and makes it to the finish line. 4th place. Try again? No, game over. Damnit I just needed one more balloon to challenge Wiz Pig too.